"Should you be Eating That"

I think "should you be eating that?" is the all time most dreaded question that girls/woman/people who are remotely subconscious about their weight can be asked. But people ask it and its infuriating and frustrating and well...it just sucks.

I have finally started telling people (some of my closer DC friends) that I want to start loosing weight, and I have gotten a outcry of support and motivation and all good stuff like that. I hadn't been telling people I see often before simply in case I failed, then I wouldn't have to feel quite as guilty. Anyway, now that I have started telling people, they want to help me. It make sense, that's what friends do, but I also feel like in their attempts to help me I am being judged.

Maybe I am being supper subconscious and stuff, but I know I need to let myself eat stuff I am craving, in small portions, that way I dont just get frustrated and give up. I think I am also worried about this dreaded question simply cause I am counting down the days until Thanksgiving, when I next see my family.

I know they mean well and they love me and all of that stuff but at the same time I cant stand the questions about what I eat, and how I eat and if I am being healthy and why am I gaining weight and should you be eating that. In large part I have been keeping such ridiculous records of every single thing I put in my mouth is so when I get home and I get crap (cause even in an ideal world I will only be around 188 lbs by thanksgiving) for being a fatty I can throw it in their face and be like look! I am working hard! I can loose more weight if I become anorexic and starve myself or maybe I should go for an instant fix fad diet that always fails...anyway maybe I am being unfair to them, I know they love me and do it cause they care, but seriously I am stressed about thanksgiving...which is ridiculous cause its A) my favorite holiday and B) falls on my birthday this year.

UGH...anyway on to more happy subject.

Even with my friend in town (who is a ridiculously picky eater and really only eats carbs) I ate fairly decently and found time to work out! Friday I did a bit of working out before she got her, not the traditional kinda working out where I go running (like i planned) or anything, but I rearranged my room. Yes, I count that as working out, especially when furniture averages about 40-50lbs.

Anyway Friday I ate, a banana for breakfast, a chicken barbecue wrap from trader joes for lunch (only half of it which is one serving, not cause I was supper full but because it was pretty gross) then like 2 bites of a hamburger and some fries from Fudruckers for dinner. It worked out to be, even with my snacks about 900 calories

Saturday I ate a banana for breakfast, the rest of the hamburger for lunch, ravioli and broccoli for dinner and a Cheese Danish as a snack...so I didnt do to well with the eating on Saturday but we walked around for over 2 hours, and I did both Pilate's and Tai Chi in the morning (I love that video)

And on Sunday I ate (once again not a supper healthy day) a Doughnut for breakfast, Pumpkin flavored from Dunkin Doughnuts since I walked past it with Abby on the way to the bus stop. Hot wings for lunch (9 of them) and then 2 potato skins, a caeser salad and 2 bites of mashed potatoes for dinner...but once again I did about 25 min of yoga (which my arms are killing me from) and about 30 min of Tai Chi.

What I think impressed me the most was Sunday Night at dinner with my boy friend, where I was starving before hand (which is why we got the potato skins) how little I actually ate. Normally I would eat 2 potato skins then my entire meal (I got a soup and salad combo) but I at the 2 potato skins then I was full. So full that I didn't really even touch my soup, and only ate a couple of bites of my salad. I was amazed, I have also noticed I am hungry more but eat less every time. I think subconsciously I have moved to the eating small amounts every 5 hour plan and I hadnt even realized that I have shrunk my stomach! I am pumped! so with that I will leave you...this ridiculously long post about a successfully weekend and a stress full family. Tomorrow night is weigh in night so I hope I actually see some results (even if its 1lb) I will be happy.