Fell off the wagon and hit my head and went into a coma for like 7 months

No I didnt really go into a coma. I did have a couple of bad months though. So right after my last blog post I broke up with the guy I had been dating. It wasnt anything serious but it still really really sucked, nothing hurts your self esteem more then getting dumped. Even by a guy you wernt all that into in the first place. Then I acted out and got stupid drunk and kissed this guy at a party, then freaked out cause I kissed a guy at a party and hid from him and my friends for the rest of the night. Then Nanowrimo started, and I finished it, but with Nano and a full time job, in busy season, it drained me so no blogging then.

Then I went home for thanksgiving and my grandma told me that I would be beautiful if I lost 40 lbs. Which made me really supper depressed cause I was (with exception of November) working really hard.

Shortly after thanksgiving I came back to dc And broke my ankle chasing middle schoolers at work. and took up knitting. Went home for Christmas.

Then basically as soon as I got home from Christmas holiday's I noticed something smelt funny in my room. Then I noticed the floor was wet. Then I noticed it was growing mildew. Then I called my landlord who ignored me. Finally my landlord called me back like a week later saying he was gonna send someone over to fix it. I get home and I still have mildew and mold growing on my carpet and walls, but at least everything was dry. Then I got sick. Like really sick. However in my epic foolishniss I was determined to ignore the fevor and just have a bad cold. That lasted for three weeks. Finally my boss made me go to the doctor (I was sleeping at my desk at work). The doctor diognosed me with Strep (on the verge of scarlet fever), a Sinus Infection, and a Respitory Infection. He perscribed bedrest (for a week but I only took a weekend) ANYWHERE BUT MY ROOM. cause he blamed the sickness on the mold. So I moved (and lost my running shoes in the process).

A week after I moved I went to Germany to see my friend Brittany who was about to have a baby. They had a beautiful Baby girl named Abigail, and I loved visiting them it was amazing amounts of fun. And Brittany, even thoguh she was 9.5 months pregos took me around Germany so I could go site seeing.

Came home, had tons of work to do from taking a vacation. Work got crazy. Seriously I have had some insaine cases this year. And I have decided that when I rule the world condoms will be free and any child over the age of 16 has to have a part time job.

And then, like a week or two ago a friend of mine found my blog and asked me if I am still working on it. And I thought. HEY I HAVE A BLOG. light went on in my head and I am back.

So for the things that matter, yes I have still been trying to work out and eat right. No it has not been my number one priority cause well I suck. Although intermitntly when I have the chance I do work out. Like tonight. I came home from work and worked out. And tomorrow I am planning on waking up and going to the gym. Although I have to be careful cause my ankle still really hurts when I run to long.

As for the damage I did to myself with my 7 month hiatus. Its not as bad as it could be (no idea what I weigh, my roomate through out my scale when we moved...back in feb, and I havent found a new gym).

My mesurments on October 21st 2009 were:
Measurements Now:
Waist Circumference: 34.5
Bust Circumference: 40 1/2
High Hip Circumference: 37 1/2
Hip Circumference: 49 1/4
Thigh Circumference: 29 1/2 (down 1/2 an inch)
Upper Arm Circumference: 14 (same)
Calf Circumference: 19 (down 1 inch)

My mesurements now are:

Waist Circumference: 34 (how did this shrink?)
Bust Cicumference: 39 (again?)
High Hip Circumference: 41 1/2
Hip Circumference: 48 1/2
Thigh Circumference: 29 1/2
Upper Arm Circumference: 14 1/2
Calf Circumference: 18 1/2

So nothing really changed. I added a lot in the high hip (gut area). But hopefully I can loose it again. I think the leson in this is I have to keep working in order to keep seeing progress but as long as I am an intermediet slacker not a major slacker I will be able to maintian what I loose?

Sorry for the really long post. I did miss you guys

Whats that saying about slow and steady?

I am tired of slow and steady. Its official. I am one month in (well I will be tomorrow) and I am only 2.2 lbs down. I was hoping to be at least 4 lbs down by a month in, although the first week of the month I was a massive screw up and really didnt know what I was doing. I have also learned that I really need to be about 2000 calories under my 1,200 goal for the week in order to actually loose the weight I need to loose. (since I was about 2000 calories under the week that I saw the most loss) But that puts me at around 1000 calories a day which is pretty low. I am going to give that a try though, I just feel like things are not moving fast enough. I knew this was going to be a long road, I was just hopping it to be a long fast moving road.

I am trying really hard not to get discouraged, cause 2.2 lbs is better than nothing, I mean at least the scale is moving in the direction I want it to, not the wrong direction. The other big thing I learned is that I have to work out, I am not going to do this just by dieting alone, like some people can. So thats going to be my new thing, I cant make excuses for not working out and I cant lie to myself and pretend that walking when I really dont sweat at all counts as a workout. I need to be sore all the time, well not all the time but I need to be sore alot of the time.

Now all of that being said I want to post some positives, cause I hate being all negitive about this. I did remesure myself this week, and saw some change:

Waist: down 3/4 an inch
calf: down 3/4 an inch(not small enough to get into boots though)
hips: down 3 1/4 inches (from last week not the first time I mesured so technically if you go off the smallest its down 1/4 an inch)
Inch bellow Belly Button: down 2 1/2 inches
Belly Button: Up 1 inch (this sucks but I was really bloated so I am going to blaim it on that)
Bust: (again not an area I really want to see shrink) down 3/4 an inch
Thigh: same



Shadow Says "Always Wear a Helmet" he is wearing a helmet cause he tried to kill me

So its not all bad...And for some other good news, I am most deffinitly going horse back riding this weekend (unless the woman decides that I am to heavy for her horses, alot of people set weight limits of around 200lbs) I am deffinitly planning on going horseback riding this weekend, and I am pumped! So I am going to leave you with some pictures of horses and me when I was skinnier (mostly from horse back riding)

Random Thoughts

This is going to be short and possibly somewhat incoherent. But I dont want to not blog today, so here it goes.

1) I really really really dont want to work out or clean my room or do laundry three things I need to be doing right now.
2) I need to figure out what it is about me that says to older men (like old enough to be my dad older men) "play with my hair" so I can make them stop...seriously its uncomfortable and awkward and I dont like it.
3) I am dreading weigh in tomorrow. I have not been as good as I should be, and have a feeling I might just curl into a ball and take a nap (which is what I want to do)
4) I am really hungry, and I want to eat which means I cant work out for a couple of hours afterwards which means one part of my brain is trying to convince the other part to eat and that is a good excuse for not working out...

So with all that said, I think I am going to go work out for a bit before I completly think myself out of it.

Random Mondays

So this morning I made myself get up and do some yoga with weights, and I am really glad I did. I also did a decent job of eatting a proper breakfast, or well at least what I consider to be a proper breakfast. I made myself an english muffin and ate it with smart start spread and non sweetened raspberry jam, and a banana. It worked out to be something like 250 calories. The english muffins really annoyed the hell out of me at the store. And here is why:



I dont know if you can really tell whats going on in this picture, but the whole grain english muffins which are less calories (110), and have more fiber (3 grams) and all that other good stuff are 3.39$ for the 6 pack, the Original with 120 calories per muffin that have 1 gram of fiber, are 1.69 cents. The healthy food is almost 2 dollars more expensive then the unhealthy vareity, it works out to be double the cost per muffin. (28 cents). I feel like this trend is annoying and disapointing. I mean no wonder our country is obease, people look at stuff like this and think, why spend the extra money its just 10 more calories, why make dinner when I can spend 5$ a person to go get fast food...and it just is a downward spiral of unhealthy eatting, and dont even get me started on the cost of produce.

On an entirly different subject I did not go horse back riding this weekend, I ended up having to call and cancel cause my meeting with some people about moving appartments got pushed back, and I ended up wandering around marshels to kill some time. My original plan was to go to Costco instead, but I found out I was never actually added to my parents membership, so I couldnt get anything from there. And I had some stuff I wanted to get for Jake's b-day from marshels anyway. And I ended up getting myself a really cute sweater



I saw it cause it was not on a hanger in the middle of two racks, and I picked it up and it was so soft, its like 40% angora wool, and it was my size and it was 10$ so I bought it, and I got what I wanted to get for Jake. So even though I really didnt get my work out in I do think Sunday was a sucess. Plus the meeting with the couple about the apartment went well. Anyway, tomorrow is my weigh in day so I am kinda freaked about that, but earler this week things were looking really good I just hope everything is where its supposed to be, fingers crossed for 196lbs, which will put me at 2lbs lost last week.

Horse Back Riding, Movies, and Junk Food

So I am trying to be better about blogging on the weekend. I am really excited for today cause I get to go horse back riding!

But otherwise I havent been that good this weekend, I did do some Budokon yesterday but then I went to the movies and ate wendys for dinner, so even with the Budokon I ended up about 200 calories over. I was also over on Friday night but only by 16 calories, so that really isnt a big deal. I am hoping to make up for it today, and since I was pretty solid earlier this week (750 calories under on tuesday) I should still be able to see something of a loss this week. (I peaked at the scale today, after discovering one of my other roomates has a much nicer digital scale which read at 196.5!)

Otherwise its been a pretty uneventfull weekend. But I have tons of errons to run so I am going to take off...supposidly I can go pick up my costco card and start saving money...and I need to get Jake's birthday present situation figured out.

Slackerrific, Not So Fat Work Pants, and Online Shopping

So yesterday, I went home, got in bed and watched tv. That was my night...and Bones and Fringe wernt even on. I was supper lazy, and with the hamburger I ate for lunch I didn't even have a healthy day :( oh well. Today has been better, salad for lunch, apricots for breakfast, I did slip a little bit and let myself have a non fat pumpkin spice late with my breakfast...but I really really really wanted it and figured okay, but that's it. And then someone at work gave me a box of chocolate truffles for no reason, ugh I hate holiday season. But I only ate one, for a whopping 125 calories...way more than my dark chocolate that I keep hidden in my desk for when I get a craving, that only has 35 calories. So I really need to do some serious working out when I get home tonight. or I will be eating rice and chicken broth for dinner again tonight (although that was on purpose last night cause I still felt sick)

Anyway...another bane of my existence is online shopping. Its so easy to spend money by shopping online, cause its just, click, click done. 50$ less then I had before. I found a really supper cute dress online at old navy and I was really tempted to buy it but I stopped myself.



Seriously, how cute would this be with tights and or boots?

I need to save money! I have 2 big birthdays this month (nov) plus a trip to Georgia to budget for. I am thinking I might start hitting up some thrift stores cause I am broke but I need winter clothes that fit. Maybe I should suggest that the blogger hood of the traveling not so fat pants send around some not so fat non jean trouser pants. Or maybe I should start that...anyone out there want a pair of not so fat size 14/12 work pants and can send me a pair of not so fat 16 work pants?

Jump Jump..Bounce, Splat.

So today I have been all over the place, like no joke all over the place. Its like return of the A.D.D. times 10. I guess its cause I feel slightly overwhelmed and all over the place, even though I have no reason to feel either. I did go to the gym last night and do my weigh in like I was supposed to. 198.2! so Yay, I am below 200 lbs.

A few hours later:

How can I be so unfocused this morning that I cant write more than 2 sentence's on my blog (okay well 3) and now I feel dizzy sick and tired...I think it has something to do with the fact that I did just get sick in the bathroom but I will spare you guys the details. Frustrating, cause now my energy has definitely crashed. I guess I didn't eat the healthiest of lunches (hamburger) but whatever. I don't want to dwell on that. I was going to tell you guys a story earlier that kinda had to do with the title, I think I still will cause it makes me laugh.

So last year, I was working crazy hours, and I was supper stressed out, and I was like 90% sure I was the only one in the office (mostly cause it was like 10:30pm) so I walked up and down the hall just to check then I turned my music on as loud as it would go and started "dancing" dancing is in quotation marks cause I am an overweight white Jewish girl with no rhythm, like I am anti rhythm if that is even possible, I am also highly uncoordinated and lack anything even remotely involving grace, so my form of dancing tends to be jumping around and waving my arms about like a crazy person ( I hope you have an image in your head now). Well anyway, I am dancing, with my headphones on and music blaring and all of a sudden someone rounds the corner, and I screamed(Yes, I saw a random person and screamed cause I didn't think anyone was there) midway through jump, so I tried to jump away from the person that at the time I thought was a ghost or something, so midway through jump/dancing I started screaming/falling, and landed on a pile of boxes with books in them twisting my ankle and sprawling on the floor. The guy, who was a random temp I think, stopped looked at me, I looked back at him, then he walked away. It was great....are you guys laughing yet?

Also, on another random tangent, I really want my fat ass calf's to fit into some knee high boots! like seriously, they are SO cute, and warm and everything great. But when I look online they only have them for like 15 inch calf's, I need like an extra 4 inches of material. Grrr...I found these at DSW.



they have a semi decent selection of boots in a wide calf you can see them here but seriously, I hate how expensive things are, if I had normal calf's (which from years of horse back riding just isn't going to happen) I could buy really cute boots for like 50$...I do really like these though, for 2 big reasons. 1st, they are aersoles, and normally I don't care to much for brand stuff but shoes are different, aersoles are one of those brands where you are practically guaranteed that they wont hurt your feet. But they also have an extra zipper so that if you have a fat calf it zips down and gives you extra room, but then as you loose weight like I am hoping to do they will zip back up again so it will still fit you. Eh, I guess I just need to wait and prioritize my spending cause I want to go to Germany this winter.

Anyway, my stomach needs to stop being ridiculous so I can go home and do Budokon before Bones, and Fringe and Project Runway comes on.